Pizza

I LOVE pizza.  It gave me such heartburn that I started ordering it without sauce, last year.  At the time, I wasn't aware that Fructose was a problem for me, so any trips to the bathroom after eating the wheat-flour crust with fructose-filled toppings was completely normal, for me.

While at Whole Foods last week, I picked up a box of Pizza Crust Mix.  I was so excited!  Tonight, I decided it was time to have some pizza!  That never happened.

The dough was so sticky, it looked like I had huge mittens on my hands.  I had my daughters grab my gluten-free flour and start pouring it into my hands and the bowl.  It just wasn't working.  As I used a brush to scrub this glue from my hands, my daughters started playing with the dough.  I sprayed their hands with cooking spray and they were able to make a ball.  Hopeful, I spread the dough on the pizza pan and prepared my green chile/cream cheese/mayo sauce (from the book, "Fructose Malabsorption - The Survival Guide"). 

One of my daughters noticed the cooking spray was dripping through the holes in the pizza pan.  I lifted the pan and found a big surprise - the dough was seeping through the holes, too!  It was all over the stove top, in squiggly little lines.  I was laughing hysterically!  My oldest daughter and I tried to flip the dough onto some foil, so we could line the pan with foil, but that was a disaster.  The dough was firmly lodged into those holes and it fell apart, when I tried to coax it with a spatula.  I was no longer laughing.

I only wanted some pizza.  I wanted to cry.  Since I've been cooking up meat patties for quick meals, I had a burger, AGAIN, with my green chile sauce on it.  It was good but it was a BURGER, again.  I just wanted some pizza.